A Critique on Film Reviews
Every time I read a film review in the newspapers, I am always left wondering how much of it is true and genuine, and how much a mere extension of the PR plan of the producers. If in a good week some four films are released, is it humanly possible for someone to see all four and write comprehensively or cohesively on each of them?
I have a lot of friends who decide to watch a film basis the next Times of India review; Nikhat Kazmi (their resident critic) is an excellent writer (in fact, she is one of my inspirations) and her views are often right on track; but, I never form my opinion of films purely on her comments. For me, she is an enjoyable writer who just happens to comment on films!
In the past couple of days, I have allowed myself to trek into the jungles of the web world, following various links and sites; largely, reviewing films seems to be quite popular with many bloggers. I have myself been writing quite a few of them on this very blog and tormenting readers with an alarming regularity; for me, it is an interesting pastime; I hope it is not too much of a pain for the readers as well.
I can very confidently say, that most reviews can be written without much thought or effort going into them. Also, they can be written without seeing the films too! (Please, don t drop your jaws and widen your eyes, I will explain)
I have not seen Vastushaastra as on date. However, I have penned two different versions of a review; one that praises the film; the other that rips it apart. A sample is given below:
The criticism:
RGV s factory has been churning out films with the speed of an assembly line; the strain on the quality is now distinctly visible. In Vaastushaastra, the entire effort seems to be not to make a genuinely interesting film, but to be better and bitter than Bhoot. This film is a hastily put up project wherein the story seems to be woven around the horror scenes rather than the other way round. Using the innocence of a child to enhance the horror quotient is something that all filmmakers of this genre deploy at random; but, Saurabh Narang is no M Night Shyamalan, whose masterpiece (Sixth Sense) is clearly the reference point here. However, even a ghost story needs some justification for their introduction, which is sadly missing here. Barring a Sushmita Sen, whose acting talents are as debatable as her arch rival s, the lack luster star cast is not a reliable aide or aid. This genre can be made more interesting if the fear is psychological; but Narang goes all out in introducing the ghosts right on your face, which, though scary, leave a bad aftertaste in the mouth. The climax with the protagonist fighting off the ghosts is not only ludicrous, but torturous as well. The pace of the narrative, especially in the first half, needed briskness. Agreed, RGV is re-defining the meaning of cinema; but we Indians love our films with their accompanying loudness, songs and melodrama; that is our tradition, and we are best at it. By changing the definition, RGV is merely distorting the face of Indian cinema into an ugly replica of the West, which stands neither here nor there; this, at a time when our films are getting its due acknowledgement the world in their original form. In the end, a question for Mr. RGV: sir, you claim you made the scariest horror film ever- true, the horror is there, but where is the film?
The praise:
RGV s factory, despite churning out films at an incredible speed, have produced films that carry an irrepressible stamp of quality, except for an oddity here and there, which is understandable in any production company. In Vaastushaastra, clearly the effort is to come out with a product that is better and more polished than Bhoot and release this genre finally out of the clutches of the Ramsay-type of films. The superlative production value and the well-cut out scene structures are the major highlights of the film. Juxtaposing a child s innocence with terror always has a chilling effect; Narang deploys this tool to a wonderful affect. The fear of the dark and the unknown is beautifully etched out, as we face each strange incident in graphic but not gory detail; a simmering subtext of Freudian magnitude keeps the viewers mind constantly whirring, while not losing sight of the entertainment value. The story moves with a grace of a well orchestrated symphony; like a master conductor, Narang takes the film to a chilling but rising crescendo with an absolutely knuckle gripping climax. In avoiding a big star cast, the team of RGV and Narang has retained the interest in the story without any one s charisma or image hovering like an unwanted ghost. The narrative pace keeps you bound without losing the thought process in unnecessary haste. RGV is redesigning the Indian cinema with the nimbleness of a dexterous plastic surgeon; he retains the original expression and visage, but enhances the beautiful aspects. In the end, a pat on the back of RGV: sir, you claim you made the scariest horror film ever- true, you have at last mastered the combination of horror and film.
Now, all I have to do to these reviews is add a couple of paragraphs on the story, a line or two on the music, and perhaps expand a bit on the performances, which any decent production house s PR company would easily oblige me with.
And after that, if I am a critic worth half the ink that I write with, I should take the review to RGV and demand my pay cheque! If he concedes happily, the second review is handed over; if he does not, well, I am a reviewer and a critic; I can rip his handiwork to shreds!!
Now, before your jaws completely fall of your face, let me just round off this post by saying that I had actually watched all those movies while doing the reviews; but, as the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, so does the worth of a work of art or cinema lie in the mind of the beholder; please, do not reject a film on basis of a mere review er, except for mine, that isJ
I am writing this scathing piece because no publication has yet acknowledged my talent.
Finally, my oversized bloated ego is jumping up and down with glee like an excited juvenile! I take my bow; do I hear a thunderous applause? And, my tongue is getting hurt from being in the cheek for so long!
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