Random Expressions

A chance mention of the film to a colleague made him bring the VCD (yes, he had bought it!). Since I had secretly wanted to watch it all along, I grabbed the opportunity eagerly. It adds to my list of B-and-C-grade films like AK-47, Hottest Mail.com and Fun. While taking the VCD from him, in a mock leering voice I said, ‘Ek se mera kya hoga’, and immediately my colleague stated, “Precisely why I got you two films” and fished out something called Jangli Pyaar as well. (Yet to see, but keep watching this space).

Coming back to ESMKH, the movie is directed by TLV Prasadh, who, for long, had made those third-rate Mithunda films (Hitler, Hatyara, Jurmana etc) which we all love to ridicule. A few years back he changed track, and started making these Payal Rohatgi-starrer sleaze fests – including Tauba Tauba, which I had viewed (and reviewed) while in Nepal.

My enormous disappointment is that the film title doesn’t refer to the lady’s state of mind! So what’s the story about? A Muslim lady Rukaya accuses one Altaf Bashir for marrying and deserting her. Soon, a Christian girl Maria also does the same, claiming the person to be Peter D’Costa. A film heroine Roshni comes along pointing at the same man to be Tinnu Kapoor. Later, a fourth one also lands up (direct from Bihar, called Laalli Yadav!) Lawyer Supriya Pathak (Payal Rohatgi) is out to prove that Altaf/Peter/Tinnu is the same man, who now stands in the court proclaiming that he is a renowned philanthropist Prem Bajaj. Is she correct, or is Prem Bajaj really innocent? What is the truth behind those multi-identities – that is the crux of the tale, and I will leave the ‘suspense’ for you to find it yourself!

The story is intelligently constructed to include as much sordidness as it can. Hence, each lady testifies, and the film moves into flashback showing elaborate scenes of their meeting-and-mating with the fraud man, along with ample close shots of cleavage-and-legs. It’s here that the script seems to pause and say, ok let’s get into the real thing for what the audience is watching. The balance is merely a filler to get down to the next such flashback!

The first half is entirely left to this – and it is pretty funny to see the way every flashback is designed to increase the steam. The shots are so corny that they evoke laughter rather than lust! And since all the girls seem to be more than willing to sleep with the man, words like ‘abla naari’ and ‘majboor aurat’ bandied in the court, are uproarious.

While promoting Corporate for her ‘important role’ (she had an item number and played a whore in a two-minute appearance!), a smug Payal Rohatgi had excitedly chirped that she was getting ‘good’ and ‘interesting’ roles now. Perhaps she was referring to her ‘lead’ role in this film where she gets to don full robes (lawyer’s, at that!) for most part of the film (if only she could wear some expressions, other than looking like some stuck up sex-doll!). But of course, the director realized that a fully clad Payal would hardly sell a film, so in the second half, she gets into the act, removes the robes, sings utterly rubbish sexy songs, wears outlandish clothes (which the dress designer looks to have snipped and cut randomly at all the vantage points of her anatomy) and tries to ensnare the real man behind the multiple identities. Incidentally, her voice is dubbed by some shrilly dubbing artiste, making her sound more like a banshee than a bomb.

All other girls required only bosom-and-bum to display, which they do in good measure. Acting? Ha ha ha, they wouldn’t even know the word, leave alone the meaning! I am always amazed as to how such films manage to get these similar looking and sounding, largely unattractive females (curvaceous and flabby, with no expressions or intonation and zilch screen presence) in abundance? The hero (one Sameer Kochhar) enjoys all the smooches, and is more wooden than the toughest ply available in market.

The script is designed to milk the maximum mileage from the girls. Which it does. Else, it has holes big enough for a jet plane to pass through! The dialogues are stock phrases. The production is tacky. The cinematography is shaky. But then why am I getting into all these details, which even the producer/director never went into. The basic purpose is to titillate – which it didn’t to me, but then I guess I wasn’t meant to be the target audience. For all those morning shows, the film has enough strategic points for the exhibitor to add his own bit of additional footage, to make the film overall ‘paisa vasool’ (One day, I promise I will muster up enough courage to actually watch a film in a morning show!)

Even the VCD was intended for such an audience since there were trailers of more such films – Rosy and Dhandha! And when it showed one of an A-grade film (Page 3), it only concentrated on the raunchy item number ‘Kuaan maa kood jaaoongi’!!!

For those who asked me whether I had seen any movie from this list – well, you have your answer now!

Overall – Ha ha ha, Watch it, if only to learn that these films also exist!

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This entry was posted on Saturday, December 30th, 2006 at 10:39 am and is filed under Film Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.