Living Near A Marriage Hall
I live near a marriage hall. It is on the plot immediately next to the one which houses my apartment. It can be quite an irritant, considering Indian marriages are all about pomp, show and noise. Especially last month was terrible - when the Gods and their messengers had opened a small window to entangle as many willing couples as possible (so much so that as many as 30,000 couples tied the knot in just one single day!). Every evening I would come home to the din of speakers blaring out the latest hits. On the positive side, it helped me keep abreast of the latest in music. Often, the song selection was hilariously incongruous. For example, Mujhko pehchaan lo main hoon Don. I wonder what the bride’s family would think if the groom actually turned out to be one. Considering that I live in a belt known more for its crime than courtesy, you really never know!
Sitting in my flat, I would try to fathom what would be happening below. It is easy to recognize when a baraat arrives. Usually, the band and the music reach their output’s zenith. And when they quieten after some moments and the strains of Baharon phool barsaao play out, one can be sure that the bride has arrived. In Agra, another very jarring trend is of mobile orchestra accompanying a baraat, along with the ubiquitous band-wallahs. Invariably, the singers are so off-key that they make Himesh Reshammiya sound the sweetest voice on the earth. And their pronunciations often had me in splits. For instance, Just cheeel cheel just cheeeel made me wonder why the lady was calling the inauspicious cheel - kauwas! Maybe she was really referring to the inebriated dancers that always accompany the hapless groom perched atop a wary mare! The baraat and wedding celebration are still fine. I can bear them. What irks me the maximum is the unearthly time of most bidaais. It can be devastating to wake up five or six in the morning to the sounds of the band playing the only one number they seem to know of for the occasion - Mohd. Rafi’s Babul ki duaayein leti jaa. Come to think of, isn’t it strange that the maximum ‘occasional’ numbers, be it a dulhan’s cheerful arrival or her tearful bidaai, or even of popular festivals like Holi and Rakhi, come from older films? Why aren’t are new songs capable of catering to these universal occasions?
[composed and posted with ecto]
Enjoyed the post? Subscribe to Random Expression's RSS Feed
In case you find this site entertaining and useful please contribute your own bit by making a nominal donation.
A fresh way to contact me - New Contact Form added to the site. We love to hear from you, keep writing in!
January 9th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Iss baar GOLD mera!!!
January 9th, 2007 at 10:10 am
hahahhahahehehehehe..Your post had me in spilts.
As a kid in bby, I hardly saw Baraat’s & during our annual trips to Doon/Jalandhar, I just to jump, skip & run out of the gate to see the whole procession…Aunties fully loaded….Uncles shaking a leg….
Now again its almost 2 years here in South India, again I miss the dhol & the dhamaak…Guess I’ll just Cheeeel now.
Nice morning laff DJ…have a nice day
January 9th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Deepak, be an opportunist.
- Bachelor life is what you lead
- (hence) Good food is what you need
- Excitement in life is always good
- Gatecrash the wedding for food n booze, be khush!
Also, while you are there, pata nahin, koi ladkii pasand aa jaye (and vice versa)
January 9th, 2007 at 10:38 am
LOL! rib tickling post…
imagine gujju singers singing these songs! haha…waise I dont understand that either..bidaaais at 5 or 6…ish!!! all wedding i have seen have happened during the day bidaai by evening..
waise you should even look at them and not just hear…see what the dulha is wearing…how the aunties react..mix up a few weddings and make a nice story n o?
January 9th, 2007 at 10:42 am
and hey I second apoorvas idea! gatecrash one of these…
January 9th, 2007 at 11:58 am
LOL on DON song reference. Really, I have even heard Altaf Raza in marriages.
About singer with a band, there has always been one. And usually often fun to hear him.
ANd don’t gatecrash. By now Marriage hall owners must be knowing you. Will get caught
January 9th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
its been ages,i’ve seen or attended any wedding.vaise i used to laugh on dulhas sitting on ghoris and all scared.
January 9th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Deepakji…nice post, last I heard a flock singing - Just chawn, chawn…ha ha
January 9th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
DJ..not all indian weddings are this noisy..its just the punju(dont hit me;)) that are louder and more ostentatious than the rest!
Talking abt Altaf Raja..imagine the scene when the baraat is approaching and the song being played is ‘Tum tho thehre pardesi,saath kya nibhaoge…darwaaze se aate ho,kidhki se nikalte ho’(or something like that)!! Kya kyrics hain…awaaz tho…no comments!
January 9th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Hi DJ,
Thanks. Wish a very happy and prosperous new year too. I actually like the band music bcoz of the high enthu. I also like the sound of trains…but living near either of them…..Naaaaahhh.
January 10th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Thats a good one. I was at work and just for the heck of a change, I thought I will check your blog. Started reading this, and boy, couldn’t stop laughing. You know how it happens sometime. Anyways, good thing everyone had left by then:)
“I wonder what the bride’s family would think if the groom actually turned out to be one”. Seriously, I just can’t imagine how these band baaje waale pick all these songs. Vaise the filmi kind I am, I had always thought what songs would be played at what time of my wedding. Abh shaadi hi jaake America mein huyi jahaan koi band waale hi nahi the:) But reading your post, I am glad that it ended up being the way it was.
“Just cheeel cheel just cheeeel made me wonder why the lady was calling the inauspicious cheel - kauwas”!!! LOL!!! I don’t know how you live there…vaise not bad for laughter therapy, after all.
January 10th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Mehak - Gold aapka
Thanks for liking the post. The fun in baraat is to be on the groom’s side, hv two/three strong shots and dance wantonly, without care and abandon 
LOL
Apoorva - Good idea
Kaushi - For that, i hv seen enough weddings in my own family
But yeah, bidaais generally (esp in Punjus) takes place early morning. Be prepared for that!
Manish - Hvnt seen the singers in Delhi though. At least, not so loud as to often drown the band.
Red - Yeah, as it is the dulha/dulhan are the most neglected people in any marriage! And the poor dulha on top of a ghodi is quite a plight!
Anoop - Thanks a ton
Ragz - Ha ha, no not at all, i dont mind at all. But then, i m not in a very Punju heartland. So i guess most N.Indian weddings are such only
ROFL@’Tum toh thehre pardesi’ 
Vidya - After such a long time! Welcome once again here! I am fine, and hope u r doing well too. My wishes to you as well. You know what ? In Delhi, my house is quite near a railway track, and here I am next to a marriage hall
Mannat - Happy u enjoyed the post
As for living here, i try to see the bright side of it all - plus, it gave a ‘post’able material for the blog 
January 11th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Arey DJ!..you live near just one marriage hall?..thats nothing
..
My home in Kanpur has four (yes you read it correctly! - four) wedding lawns right across the road..You can imagine our plight..but now we are used to the Baharon Phool Barsaon Mera Mehboob Aaya Hai..infact..wenever this song is played/sung..my mom is like..”chalo chalo Mehboob bhai aa gaye aaj bhi..mil ke aate hain”
I have thought about it..but never tried…Drinks in the first, Appetizers in the second, Main course in the third and Desserts in the fourth! ..How about that?
January 11th, 2007 at 2:59 am
that last line reminds me of that dialogue in Border !
January 11th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
You put a reasonable Q. @ your summation DJ —
Come to think of, isn’t it strange that the maximum ‘occasional’ numbers, be it a dulhan’s cheerful arrival or her tearful bidaai, or even of popular festivals like Holi and Rakhi, come from older films? Why aren’t are new songs capable of catering to these universal occasions?
Yes, why the lyrics are like “flavor f the season” kind ?
Even Latadi has said this in her Interviews.
I grew up near the Fisher Folk community in Mumbai & Quwwal Aziz Najha saab’s ” Muhhharram mei…na sakuoon milta hai, but khane mei, chain milta hai to bus Saki, tere maikhane mai ..Jhoom barabar jhoom sharabee ..” was blaring from real lous speakers even during Ganpati Utsav & Janmashtami & shadis & Diwali ….non - stop .. as there was no curfew or cut off past mid - night ..in those days !
It was difficult reading at night for exams. I recall that vividly.
I’m enjoying your POSTS
& realise you have a huge Friend base !
warm regards,
L
January 12th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
It is crime to draw happiness out of somebody’s misery but I think I am gulity too, just like all other readers
January 13th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Kaps - LOL, chaar toh bahut zyadaa hain! Must be missing all that hulla-gulla in the US of A!
Lavanya - Thanks so much for your invaluable comments. During the Navratras, one should see the way the songs are mixed and remixed to make bhajans! I was shattered to hear a Shiv-bhajan go ‘Aisa mera Bhola re’ on the tune of Lara Dutta’s item song ‘Aisa jaadoo daala re’ from Khakhee. Now, i think they will soon remix ‘Mayya Mayya’ from Guru, since it seems to be tailor made for them!
Dhoop - Ha ha ha
January 13th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
hilarious!!
spot on..experienced a similar thing while in mumbai during the festive season..Ganesh ji was always sidelined coz everybody was busy dancing on “ek baari aaja aajaa” and “27×7 i think of u” ..it was hard to make out iwhethersongs were played for ganeshji or for the gals living in gals hostel across the road!!
January 14th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Hey Deepak,
Cudnt stop laughing….keep up the good work !
Prakash
January 15th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Hey DJ…do check out my blog….
January 15th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Thankfully marriages in Mumbai are wraped up by 11 in the night. Ni bidaais at unearthly hours.
So, it must be good for u. Get to gatecrash every often and have sumptous food for free.
Yeah me too have wondered many times, songs for suitable for diff. occasions are not made anymore. Changing times!
January 16th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Gaurav - Thanks
and good to see you here after so long! Oh yeah, the religious pandals can be equally noisy and with weird parodies/remixes!
Prakash - Thanks
Mannat - Checked and commented!
Bhagya - Lucky u not to be subjected to early morning bidaais. Hvnt gatecrashed as yet…but am severely tempted to do so
January 31st, 2007 at 4:23 am
DJ
I remember a wedding where this song was being played: Dilme chhupake pyar ka tufaan le chale, hum aaj apni mautka saman le chale, mautka samaan le chale….. LOL