Mustache Mania
I don’t know how far it is true, but I speak from my personal experience - separating a man from his moustaches is quite an impossible task. Hrishikesh Mukherjee built an entire comedy revolving around mouches - remember Golmaal? And Utpal Dutt’s indignant stand - munch nahin toh mard nahin! I sport one. But unlike Utpal Dutt in the film, I do not twirl any morality into them; but yes, it seems without them I would be not complete.
Love for moustaches is not hereditary. Even if it is, then I am that perfect exception which always exists in every theory. My father does not sport one, neither did my grandfathers (both sides), none of my mamas, and not my chachas. Yet, as far as I recall I always wanted to have one. I am not sure where the influence came from.
Once the down was established, I never had the courage to remove it. Earlier my mother would often jokingly ask me to remove it, at least to see how I look clean-shaven. But the very thought would send a cold shiver down my spine. The only time I shaved it off was way back in college - that entire week I felt I was roaming naked. After that, I have never attempted. Plus, Lamhe released, and I viewed Anil Kapoor’s stiff upper lip in the first half, painfully aware at his obvious discomfort - while viewing the film, I patted my mouche lovingly - no baby, I am not murdering you ever! Few years later, King Uncle came. There was an entire parody based on Anu Aggarwal trying to get Jackie to trim off his weirdly shaped mouche. Even though I don’t have that horrendous shape, still I payed close attention to the song.
Just in case the girls are feeling left out, let me say it’s quite similar to having your long hair chopped off. I remember the pangs my sister went through when she went in for a new, short hair-style. That furthered my resolve - I wouldn’t subject myself to this mental agony!
Years passed, and off and on I did get the arrant urge off and on to do something drastic; but always controlled these wild thoughts. During these years, I would look with envy and awe at people who could regularly experiment with their face. My elder brother-in-law is one such person - he has tried everything: mustaches, clean-shaven, French beard, full beard - in short, the full works! My younger brother-in-law deserted his mouche, and never returned back to it. His reasoning - too much white hair peeping out there!
On my part I just saw them in mute admiration for their guts, secretly hoping some day I will be brave enough. The maximum I did was to trim off the thick eighties South Indian-film-hero-style bushy crop to a sophisticated slim one; sometimes using the scissor to such effect that it is barely visible. But never went full monty over my upper lip! Thankfully, white hairs (which are quite in abundance over the scalp) have not made their detrimental foray into my mouche!
Before coming to Nepal I had thought of doing so. It’s much easier if you go with a new look to a new place; at least, no one will walk up to you and peer into your face as if you are some exotic animal just escaped from the zoo! But, no - I couldn’t bring myself to it!
Today morning, while shaving, I had that animalistic strong urge again to wipe off the face clean. But as ever, in some innate defence mechanism, the heart beat shot up, the hand trembled, the mouth went dry and the razor looked menacingly but couldn’t complete its act. Before this primeval instinct betrayed me, hastily I moved away from the wash-basin.
But yes, someday I am going to do get over this fear. Also, these days clean-shaven look seems to be in-fashion. When I was growing up, it was the other way round. So, I guess I should be up-to-date with times. Will keep you and this blog posted the day I do ‘the act’!
[As of now, done nothing with the mouche- DJ, April ‘06]
[re-posted with ecto]
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June 5th, 2007 at 7:53 am
[…] If you remember this post, (and even if you don’t that’s why I am providing the link), you will recall my paranoia in shaving off my moustaches. Finally, one Sunday evening, while getting a shave at my friendly neighborhood barber, I told him to yank off the hair from above my upper lip - a rare on-the-spot decision, and it had to be that way only if it ever had to be accomplished. The reason for not updating this earlier ranged from I-might-not-like-it-and-will-return-to-the-original-look to the I-am-damn-lazy-and-writing-on-a-petty-mouche-doesn’t-serve-this-blog-good! Anyways, the point is that I haven’t grown them back, and am quite liking myself sans the extra hair. So, all ye who have seen me, be prepared to welcome the ‘new improved(?)’ DJ! […]