Random Expressions

Hosting a conference turned out to be quite a massive affair. A week later, visit this site treatment I am still lost buried beneath the aftermath exhaustion as well clearing up the bills. In between, pulmonologist I took off to Delhi and took a well deserved holiday. That accounts for the long absence on the blog.

Mercifully, more everything in the conference went off with clock-work precision that would make the Swiss proud. True, there were minor goof-ups. In fact, on the day the guests were to arrive, there were several of them (largely thanks to the hotel, who otherwise were extremely good but somehow things went patchy on that morning) but we managed to douse all fires and before the biggest bulk of delegates arrived in the noon we had done the clean-up. When they entered the hotel’s porch, everything was settled the shehnai-and-dhol-and-nagada-wallahs whipped up a resounding welcome note, the girls from the hotel in bright red sarees showered fresh petals, and the cool welcome drinks were served meticulously.

When the hotel fell in step with our energy and demanding levels, the weather played truant. We had prearranged a night cricket match to build up excitement. Before the last over could be bowled the skies suddenly ripped apart and the rains washed away any hopes for the beautifully arranged pool-side dinner. Considering that it was May (and burning hot and not expecting rains) we had been a bit lax in not keeping a back-up venue, though the hotel’s machinery worked pretty fast to provide us dinner at their regular boufet in the restaurant. But mercifully we didn’t need it as the showers stopped as suddenly as they had begun, and we enjoyed a peaceful dinner by the wet pool-side.

The next day I pestered the hotel to keep a back-up arrangement, since the venue for the gala dinner was again an outside lawn.

Early morning was earmarked for Taj Mahal visit and from the bus parking to the monument, we had booked eleven tongas to ferry the delegates, with banners of our company pre-fixed on them. They made a quaint sight as the caravan moved the short distance of about a kilometer or so.

The day passed in lectures and meets, though frankly I didn’t sit through much of it since I was moving around trying to see that no loose thread stuck out sorely. It didn’t. Except that as the evening approached a sandstorm threatened to ruin our grand gala ghazal nite dinner. We had a back-up, but that would have been an awfully low-key compromise. My selection for the dinner was a beautifully kept lawn, surrounded by well trimmed hedges; on one side, there were couple of steps on which water flowed (with colored lights in it), and beyond this was a sort of stage where the ghazal singer would sit. Even though I hadn’t seen the effect I could imagine that it would be absolutely beautiful.

We requested our chief to delay the dinner a bit so that the storm could subside, else we would have to do with our back-up. Mercifully, the wind relented and everything settled down. The dinner passed off without a hitch. Perhaps the biggest success of any party is the way people enjoy it and when guests get up to dance even on some ghazal, you know you have a success in your hand! The ghazal singer, Rajinder Parekh, employed by the hotel, has a mellow voice, with just the right tinge of Jagjit Singh’s tenor and the sound system was of superior quality. A magician, that I had liked when I had visited the hotel scouting for entertaintment options, regaled with his few tricks at each table.

By the time the guests left the next day (after a lunch arranged en route at Vrindavan that s why I was there the other day when the monkey episode happened), we were all terribly fatigued and couldn t stand a minute longer on our feet.

In the end, it was worth all that effort the conference was a success, and I am sure people in our company will remember Agra for a long time to come!

It happened faster than a snap of the finger. My colleague (A.) and I were walking back from Bankey Bihari Mandir with two peda boxes in hand, website A being a few steps behind me. Suddenly a commotion paused my stride. I turned to have a look, angina and found A. harrassed. My first thought was obvious the monkeys had snatched the peda boxes. But closer inspection brought forth an amusing laughter. A monkey had coolly walked off with A’s spectacles and stood near a stone sign board, diabetes and pregnancy chewing the spectacles stem and eyeing us naughtily. A. told that the monkey’s finesse in pulling off the spectacles from his eyes displayed an extraordinary sense of practice and polish.

A helpful hand nearby tried to lure the ape to return the specs in exchange for two mangoes. But the animal was smart. He ran off with the mangoes and the specs towards a nearby building’s terrace. Unfortunately we humans aren’t that adept in climbing pipes, so the helpful person had to climb the stairs but eventually managed to retrieve the glasses.

Next time you are in Vrindavan be cautious and don t take the signs of “Take care of your specs, bags and other belongings”, put up by the town administration, lightly or casually. They truly mean it!

Simian Trouble

Simian menace is increasing in both Delhi and Agra. Here, the hazard is in higher proportion. It’s not exactly rocket science to fathom why so! The entire stretch of Western Uttar Pradesh right up to Delhi is devoid of any proper forest or jungle (unless you count the concrete blocks erupting faster than teenager’s acne as so!)

At our office compound we are surrounded by monkeys, in various size and shapes that create utter nuisance. My car’s rear window wiper is a favorite swing for the kiddo-apes, so much so that I have now stopped getting it fixed. The scooter/motorcycle seats and rear-window stems are their chewing gums . Though they don’t often enter the premises, but once in a while when they do, trust them to walk off with a few important papers. They are ready to snatch and rob anything they can lay their hands off. One huge greedy lot, they are, for sure! Must say though, I quite enjoy watching their antics – from a respectable distance, that is!

At my house the problem is lesser. But it is best to keep the balcony doors closed lest some enterprising monkey decides to pay a visit. I have heard the lower floors get their patronage more; staying on the fifth floor has some little advantages, I guess- though, the pigeons make up for any wild loss I might feel, and that’s a different story altogether!

Strangely, my association with the monkeys goes far beyond the common evolutionary ancestral link that we share. In Nepal too, I was surrounded by monkeys and they often entered my house’s compound (and boy, were they huge!) and here once again I get greeted by them regularly. Perhaps, there is some cosmic design in this too. And this looks like no monkey business!

Powered by Zoundry

If director Anurag Basu’s film is to be believed then everyone in Mumbai is sleeping around in a shockingly loose manner. Relationships sever at the drop of the pant. Honesty and hardwork do not matter. Life is a bitch forever ready to bed, melanoma bite and betray. Come on, physician even I have stayed in a metro agreed it is not easy, infection but it is not really that bad. As a film depicting a slice of life in a huge city, the film is way too simplistic, salacious and rather unrepresentative.

However, if you see the film just about a bunch of characters (I guess the genre of multiple stories is here to stay), who incidentally happen to live in a big city where some insecurities have seeped in them, it works tremendously well. Especially since characters are not randomly selected, they are all interconnected; hence the film doesn’t look loose or haphazard like Salaam-E-Ishq (which remains the worst movie in this genre).

The film is glossy and slick. But that’s just the surface. So don’t be fooled by the film’s exterior. At heart it is quintessentially and supremely old Bollywood stuff, perhaps highlighted best by Sharman Joshi s track, which is nothing but Shri 420(or Yes Boss or Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman) revisited. Ambition is bad and betraying your love for sake of ambition is worse. The scene where he bitterly explains that he has chosen his path to fulfill pitaaji ka adhura sapna (of building a restaurant) is a salute to innumerable seventies film where the angry young man took to the wrong way to fulfill his parents dreams or avenge the wrong done to them. And then there is the filmi climax set at where else? the railway platform, where Irrfan and Kangana seek their respective departing loves.

Yet, despite its back-hand compliments to age-old Bollywood tracks, the film is highly* quite original, not a spoof and certainly not cliched.

It’s difficult to write a review without revealing any details since the characters and their plot are tightly interlinked, which actually is the film’s triumph. The screenplay (by Anurag Basu) is neat and keeps the viewer s interest firmly glued to the on-screen proceedings. Characters connect with each other and the audience instantaneously. In fact, I simply adored the way the film introduces characters and their lives right from the first shot, without wasting time, and adds little details on the way. Sanjeev Dutta’s dialogues do their part well, giving insightful comments at appropriate places and leaving things unstated but hinted at other moments. At times, the film reminds you of Page 3.

The performances are superb. Shilpa Shetty can proudly display the film on her resume (which till date had Phir Milenge as the only other worthwhile mention)- as a housewife caught between a wrong marriage and a wronger romance she comes across very sensitive and mature. Kay Kay Menon, Irrfan Khan and Shiney Ahuja are beacons of new age parallel cinema, and none of them lets the fire die. I love Konkona Sen Sharma – she has a spunk which immediately connects to the audience. Here, she plays a late twenties virgin desperate to get married. Her pairing with Irrfan is the most ideal and sensitive one in the film (though she herself doesn t realize it till the end).

Dharmendra has aged a lot but makes a decent comeback, and so does Nafisa Ali, playing aged lovers who re-unite after years- the track that leaves with you stifled sobs and moist eyes.

Negatives? Yes, a few. First, the character s obsession with love and bed seem a bit too much. Even though Kaykay, Kangana and Sharman are placed in a recognizable office (the ubiquitious call-center); however they don t really have too much botheration about work or its related problems. If I am not wrong, most people have sleepless nights not due to a sexy secretary lying besides them but because of up-coming presentations and ruthless sales targets! Showing them carrying Lenovo lap-tops doesn’t solve the problem ;at least they should work on it as well.

Second, the music is pathetic ** not to my liking. I don’t understand rock at all, and here all songs are from this genre. Preetam and his band come in at regular intervals (as some sort of sutradhar), hair flowing and guitar strumming. At first it looks good and innovative. But by the third song they are irritating and boring, and one wishes the director had chopped off the songs altogether.

Lastly, I am not sure if I am convinced about the ending given to Shilpa Shetty’s character. Either ways she was in a hopeless situation, but which of the two would be lesser one, is an unanswered question!

In all, after Murder and Gangster, Basu has a clear winner on his hands – less dark and manic, more intricate and deep and definitely more entertaining.

Overall- Worth viewing!

[*Reader V informs that Sharman Joshi’s track is inspired from a Hollywood film, The Apartment]
[** I realised ‘pathetic’ is a strong word to use when I don’t understand this genre]

Technorati : Bollywood, Film Review, Metro

The blurbs say “sugar-free romance.” Don’t take it too seriously. After all the film comes from advertising guy (R. Balki), geriatrician there is bound to be some amount of exaggeration. The film is most definitely sweet though not cloyingly so.

And at last there is a mature romance where the characters age is just a number, this web outside Yash Chopra’s banner (at least, till the time the veteran made films we got some delectable and sensitive films). The film has more weight and words than Nishabd, and while watching Cheeni Kum I had this huge urge of dragging Ram Gopal Verma to the theater and show him that this is how old man-young woman romance should be made!

The story is simple boy-meets-girl-in-foreign-land, falls in love, girl s father doesn t approve, boy goes to India to woo her father. If you think I am narrating DDLJ, think again! The boy here is 64, the girl 34 and the father only 58! There you are, Balki surely gives a wicked wink to Yash Raj Films, with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

Budha Dev Gupta (Amitabh Bachchan) is a hard-task-master chef running Spice 6, an authentic Indian restaurant in London (and not just a phoney one which thrive on simply putting up pictures of elephants and Taj Mahal), living with his brattish mother (Zohra Sehgal) and is friendly with a six-year old cancer patient, Sexy.

He is egoistic, pompous and full of himself only till the time Nina Verma (Tabu) walks in his restaurants and returns her ordered dish Hyderabadi zafrani pulao, stating it to be too sweet. It’s an affront Budha is not going to take lightly. Worse, the next day she cooks the dish the way it should be made and sends him back. Budha finally meets his match.

The first half moves forward in a delightful play of words (the one liners are straight after my heart!), where umbrellas and dialogues are exchanged rapidly, without really defining when the romance actually begins. It just happens pyaar kiya nahi jaata ho jaata hai! Here the comedy, involving a bunch of cooks (including a British waiter forced to learn tough Indian dishes’ names), is feather-light and amusing. The second half is about the problem about getting Nina’s father (Paresh Rawal) to agree to the match. Even though Nina is no Simran ( over my dead body booms the father when he learns about the impending marriage, so when are you kicking the bucket? asks Nina without batting an eyelid!) still she is not the one to run off just like that.

Few things which jarred – Delhi is shown not as beautifully as London is, plus Balki should have worked a bit on the geography too. Not all routes have to necessary pass through India Gate or North/South Blocks everytime (But I guess this is a minor grouse, and comes from me since I belong to Delhi). The motorbike mob that teases Tabu wasn’t really required, it doesn’t add to the story. Why does Balki re-inforce the superstition that if you are able to hold the Ashok Pillar (at Qutub Minar) with your arms back-stretched, your wish will be fulfilled? If it gets more tourists to the nearly-forgotten monument, I am not complaining. The climax scene is set again at Qutub Minar, where Amitabh gets into an illogical outburst that simply doesn’t match the tender tenor of the entire film. It’s like a shrill whistle blown in between a soulful symphony.

By the way is Balki the man behind Jeetey Raho campaign of ICICI Prudential I suspect so, because he sort of mentions it in the film!

Amitabh Bachchan and Tabu share a rare cerebral chemistry. Both are actors in their prime, and that helps the film in large doses. I wouldn t think of the movie with anyone else but the two. Paresh Rawal does his role well (well, that’s also expected, isn’t it?) and Zohra Sehgal is simply delightful. A special mention to the child star Swini Khara she is cute and lovable. Though I felt that sub-plot wasn’t too well handled, other than being a counter to Budha’s actual romance.

Illayaraja’s music is great and just the right ingredient for the film. I am in love with Jaane do na and Cheeni kum hai and Shreya Ghoshal is inching up on my favorites list!

I have left out a few points that I wanted to say, but this review here has covered those up brilliantly. Why repeat? Read it!

Overall – Must See!

Here I pick up another beautiful number (sung by Lata Mangeshkar) that could not survive the tides of time, physiotherapy but nevertheless, condom is a delight to listen to.

First the lyrics:

Pyaar kya hota hai, samjhaye koie
Banke gham-khaar to aaye koie

Raasta kis liye hum poochhte hain
Jab ki apni koie manzil hi nahin
Ek thehre hue dariya ki tarah
Zindagi mein koi hulchal hi nahin
Meri soi hui paayal ki sadaa
Na to jaage, na jagaye koie
Pyaar kya hota hai…

Subah se shaam bhi ho jaati hai
Raat bhi aake guzar jaati hai
Apne darwaaze pe aawaz koie
Bhool kar bhi to nahi aati hai
Hum jahan hai wahan ek muddat se
Na koie aaye , na jaaye koie
Pyaar kya hota hai…

This beautiful gem is from the film Ek Kali Muskayee (which had the superhit number, Na tum bewafaa ho, na hum bewafaa hain), and is composed by Madan Mohan with the pain-lashed lyrics penned by Rajinder Kishen. The soul to the words is provided by the inimitable Lata Mangeshkar.

From Kadar jaane na in Bhai Bhai to Tere liye in Veer Zaara, I am an undoubted fan of Madan Mohan’s compositions. For someone like me, who places a strong emphasis on the music put in between the antaras (sometimes at the cost of the lyrics also) and a tune that should sound natural (not forced), Madan Mohan’s music is manna from heaven, as it combines all the three ingredients in a perfect mix. Also, the ‘sound’ of the orchestra of Madan Mohan touches me a lot. (It is this fetish for the lush musical interludes which explains for my choice of Shankar Jaikishan, Nadeem Shravan and Uttam Singh as my other favorites).

This song opens with a gentle flute prelude before Lata Mangeshkar’s vocals take over. Each line of the short mukhda is repeated twice in the tradition of a ghazal rendition.

The first interlude is the most interesting music passage. The same tenor of flute follows the mukhda with a small break filled by quick three chimes of a jal-tarang (type of sound) that is immediately pursued by a supple orchestral combination of violins and flute in a very slow ascent – as slow and as even as milk rising on a boil.

The antaras begin with minimal music, and the first two lines are repeated, with the second repetition supported by full tabla beats. In between the two repetitions there is a petite flute division. The tune in the antaras takes a sharp swing at the last two lines before sliding effortlessly into the mukhda.

The lyrics beautifully capture loneliness with some excellent imagery – soyi hui paayal and raasta hum kis ke liye poochte hain are lovely metaphors. Also, the feeling is conveyed in a very straightforward, simple but nonetheless poetic manner.

Lata Mangeshkar’s intonation is filled with immeasurable pathos, ache and weariness of living a lonely life. The frustration of constant questioning; the wait at the doorstep for the elusive guest; and the anger of watching the minutes tick by without any happening are all captured in her honey-sweet voice.

Generally, most singers eat up the ‘h‘ sound in the word ‘subah‘ – but, trust Lataji to even catch hold of that tiny syllable.

In all, this is a song that seeps into the heart and remains fossilized there forever.

Madan Mohan

For more details on Madan Mohan please click here – Madan Mohan : The Emperor of Gazals

For those who think Madan Mohan could compose only ‘serious’ gazal-numa songs, let me break the myth by informing that the jovial Kishore Kumar number Zarurat hai zarurat hai (Manmauji – 1962) was his composition. And can anyone forget the easy banter of Chhadi re chhadi (Lata and Rafi/Mausam) ?

I wil end this post with two more incidents: Once Madan Mohan was explaining a song to Asha Bhonsle when the songstress pointed out, a trifle disinterestedly, that this song is good, but if he could give the other one as well to her. Madan Mohan’s angry retort was – that song is for Lataji, and only for her, and no one can replace her for that other song.

Lataji claims that only Madan Mohan was a composer who never deserted her ever!

The second incident diplays his passion for perfection: Once during a recording of another song, when Madan Mohan realized that some musicians were playing out of ‘sur‘, he got worked up that he walked towards the playing area in anger. There was a glass door in between; he was so angry that instead of opening the door, he broke the glass with his hand. Lataji recalls with horror that his hand was injured, the blood was flowing out, but Madan Mohan continued his tirade against the erring musicians – “besura bajate ho; sur ke saath be-imani kar rahe ho, sharam nahin aati“!

This was the zeal and passion of this great man.

After all this, the recording happened the same day, and the song went on to be a big hit – Naino mein badra chhaye, bijli si chamke haaye from Mera Saaya. It won the Sur Singar Sansad Award – 1966.

I wonder if this kind of artistic fervor exists in today’s times!

Technorati : Lata Mangeshkar, Madan Mohan

Powered by Zoundry

Here I pick up another beautiful number (sung by Lata Mangeshkar) that could not survive the tides of time, physiotherapy but nevertheless, condom is a delight to listen to.

First the lyrics:

Pyaar kya hota hai, samjhaye koie
Banke gham-khaar to aaye koie

Raasta kis liye hum poochhte hain
Jab ki apni koie manzil hi nahin
Ek thehre hue dariya ki tarah
Zindagi mein koi hulchal hi nahin
Meri soi hui paayal ki sadaa
Na to jaage, na jagaye koie
Pyaar kya hota hai…

Subah se shaam bhi ho jaati hai
Raat bhi aake guzar jaati hai
Apne darwaaze pe aawaz koie
Bhool kar bhi to nahi aati hai
Hum jahan hai wahan ek muddat se
Na koie aaye , na jaaye koie
Pyaar kya hota hai…

This beautiful gem is from the film Ek Kali Muskayee (which had the superhit number, Na tum bewafaa ho, na hum bewafaa hain), and is composed by Madan Mohan with the pain-lashed lyrics penned by Rajinder Kishen. The soul to the words is provided by the inimitable Lata Mangeshkar.

From Kadar jaane na in Bhai Bhai to Tere liye in Veer Zaara, I am an undoubted fan of Madan Mohan’s compositions. For someone like me, who places a strong emphasis on the music put in between the antaras (sometimes at the cost of the lyrics also) and a tune that should sound natural (not forced), Madan Mohan’s music is manna from heaven, as it combines all the three ingredients in a perfect mix. Also, the ‘sound’ of the orchestra of Madan Mohan touches me a lot. (It is this fetish for the lush musical interludes which explains for my choice of Shankar Jaikishan, Nadeem Shravan and Uttam Singh as my other favorites).

This song opens with a gentle flute prelude before Lata Mangeshkar’s vocals take over. Each line of the short mukhda is repeated twice in the tradition of a ghazal rendition.

The first interlude is the most interesting music passage. The same tenor of flute follows the mukhda with a small break filled by quick three chimes of a jal-tarang (type of sound) that is immediately pursued by a supple orchestral combination of violins and flute in a very slow ascent – as slow and as even as milk rising on a boil.

The antaras begin with minimal music, and the first two lines are repeated, with the second repetition supported by full tabla beats. In between the two repetitions there is a petite flute division. The tune in the antaras takes a sharp swing at the last two lines before sliding effortlessly into the mukhda.

The lyrics beautifully capture loneliness with some excellent imagery – soyi hui paayal and raasta hum kis ke liye poochte hain are lovely metaphors. Also, the feeling is conveyed in a very straightforward, simple but nonetheless poetic manner.

Lata Mangeshkar’s intonation is filled with immeasurable pathos, ache and weariness of living a lonely life. The frustration of constant questioning; the wait at the doorstep for the elusive guest; and the anger of watching the minutes tick by without any happening are all captured in her honey-sweet voice.

Generally, most singers eat up the ‘h‘ sound in the word ‘subah‘ – but, trust Lataji to even catch hold of that tiny syllable.

In all, this is a song that seeps into the heart and remains fossilized there forever.

Madan Mohan

For more details on Madan Mohan please click here – Madan Mohan : The Emperor of Gazals

For those who think Madan Mohan could compose only ‘serious’ gazal-numa songs, let me break the myth by informing that the jovial Kishore Kumar number Zarurat hai zarurat hai (Manmauji – 1962) was his composition. And can anyone forget the easy banter of Chhadi re chhadi (Lata and Rafi/Mausam) ?

I wil end this post with two more incidents: Once Madan Mohan was explaining a song to Asha Bhonsle when the songstress pointed out, a trifle disinterestedly, that this song is good, but if he could give the other one as well to her. Madan Mohan’s angry retort was – that song is for Lataji, and only for her, and no one can replace her for that other song.

Lataji claims that only Madan Mohan was a composer who never deserted her ever!

The second incident diplays his passion for perfection: Once during a recording of another song, when Madan Mohan realized that some musicians were playing out of ‘sur‘, he got worked up that he walked towards the playing area in anger. There was a glass door in between; he was so angry that instead of opening the door, he broke the glass with his hand. Lataji recalls with horror that his hand was injured, the blood was flowing out, but Madan Mohan continued his tirade against the erring musicians – “besura bajate ho; sur ke saath be-imani kar rahe ho, sharam nahin aati“!

This was the zeal and passion of this great man.

After all this, the recording happened the same day, and the song went on to be a big hit – Naino mein badra chhaye, bijli si chamke haaye from Mera Saaya. It won the Sur Singar Sansad Award – 1966.

I wonder if this kind of artistic fervor exists in today’s times!

Technorati : Lata Mangeshkar, Madan Mohan

Powered by Zoundry

You can contact Random Expressions by sending an email at deepak@deepakjeswal.com. Alternatively, pharm
you can use the form below:

If you remember this post, otolaryngologist (and even if you don’t that’s why I am providing the link), website like this you will recall my paranoia in shaving off my moustaches. Finally, one Sunday evening, while getting a shave at my friendly neighborhood barber, I told him to yank off the hair from above my upper lip – a rare on-the-spot decision, and it had to be that way only if it ever had to be accomplished. The reason for not updating this earlier ranged from I-might-not-like-it-and-will-return-to-the-original-look to the I-am-damn-lazy-and-writing-on-a-petty-mouche-doesn’t-serve-this-blog-good! Anyways, the point is that I haven’t grown them back, and am quite liking myself sans the extra hair. So, all ye who have seen me, be prepared to welcome the ‘new improved(?)’ DJ!

Powered by Zoundry

[Starting from today I have added a new category – on financial advices, neurologist reviews and reports, largely limited to banking, financial services and insurance sectors. Hope this will help the readers of RE. The first article in this series is by a friend Kislay Verma, and he reviews a new product in the insurance market. Regards, DJ]

First Care
An Insurance Product Review by Kislay Verma

In India ‘Health Insurance’ is always a subject matter of General (Non Life) Insurance and mediclaim policies have traditionally been sold by general insurance companies like New India Assurance Company, Oriental Insurance Company etc.

Health Insurance market has not shown encouraging trends in these past years and its contribution to the growth of post-liberalized insurance industry has been fairly low. Not many known players have courted this market with more than just a cursory interest – sure, there are a regional health insurance players in South India which have cropped up in the recent past (Star Health Insurance being one of them which I can recall, Apollo is coming in a big way) but overall the scenario is pretty uncluttered.

The reason for this slow pace of growth in Health Insurance was the tariff regulations norms (Sec 64 of The Insurance Act 1938) wherein general insurance had limitations on the premium charged. The adverse claims ratio also contributed to it, apart from Morale Hazard (not to be confused with Moral Hazard).

Now that the general insurance business has been de-tariffed post January 2007 I expect some positive trends in this sector. Do not be surprised if you find a quantum leap in the premium of your Mediclaim policy or even your car’s Third Party Liability Insurance.

However seeing the current vacuum in the sector, the life insurance companies are quickly jumping onto the health insurance caravan to reap the best possible early-bird benefits that would not be there once the de-tariff-ed general insurance players launch their own more improved (read more expensive) product versions. But since the life insurance companies are not permitted to sell health insurance, some companies like Bajaj Allianz and a few others have smartly added an element of life risk into health insurance and brought it in the purview of life insurance.

We’ll talk about Bajaj Allianz Life Insurace Company’s First Care Policy, currently touted the hot and happening product in this sector.

What the Product Is?

First Care offers a medical health benefit along with a life cover and takes cares of all the medical expenses incurred.

The Positives

Unlike the previous plan i.e. Health Care, this time with First Care the company has taken a rare initiative, tied up with a TPA to provide cashless facility for treatment in the listed hospitals. Another plus point which I find is that it has a term of three years- a vantage point for the policy holder as the premium is leveled unlike in Mediclaim (where each year as the age increases the premium also shoots up).

The Negatives

Perhaps the biggest disadvantage in the product is that, unlike popular misconception, this policy does not cover pre existing diseases nor does the cover start from the day one. There is a compulsory one month waiting period for any illness. It s ok for a disease like, say cancer, but for uncomplicated procedures like tonsilectomy there is an unnecessary waiting period of 1 year and in most of the illnesses like Kidney stone-lithotripsy, Cataract, Hysterectomy, Cholecystectomy, Turp, Hernia, Haemorrhoidectomy, Fissurectomy, Fistulectomy, Exploratory Laparotomy, Laphole, Operative Laparoscopy, any Gynaecological disease, Hydroceoele and Fibroids there is a waiting period of full 2 years. It is amazing that in a policy term of three years the policy holder waits for two years for cover of most illnesses.

Well maybe they purposely kept these waiting periods. Because they knew that the policy in any case would never be used (not that I wish anyone ever uses it, but then the fact one goes in for insurance is to take cover against unforeseen circumstances, and diseases don’t usually offer a notice period before appearing!).

So, if you think the above names have set your mind staggering, read the brochure again. The day treatment list is replete with more high-profile diseases. Whatever happened to more common diseases like typhoid, malaria or even allergic rhinitis the ones which you and I are more likely going to suffer from? It’s as if the product designers have intentionally tried to keep the common man and his diseases out of its purview!

Going by this list, a Rupees One Lakh sum assured seems extremely futile.

And then comes all the caps, limits and curtailments! The organ transplant is limited to Rs. 150000/-. The amount for an organ transplant seems too less even if it is for a small little organ. Cataract is still fine but when it comes to buying an artificial knee the low end would cost Rs. 75000 and for females add a 15% extra. Hips would be even costlier to replace. Buying is not enough it has to be fitted and the procedure would unburden your pocket anywhere above Rs. 150000 on an average. So would this policy help? Certainly no!

If the limits and caps in the policy don’t get you, the exclusions will surely send you reeling in dismay. With over 20% of the brochure dedicated to the exclusions listed out – 35 exclusions to be precise – I seriously doubt the insurer’s intention to pay claims.

But of course, the company is not telling all this too easily. Have a look at the product brochure. Reading it would surely make any potential policyholder confused with all the medical jargons liberally peppered all across. Maybe they wanted to make it sound heavy-duty and serious; simplicity is something the brochure designers have probably never heard of. Sample this: Maximum cover for cardiac pacemaker for one chamber is Rs. 50000 and for two is Rs. 150000. I wonder if anybody knows about the total number of chambers in a human heart. If not, how this make any difference to him anyway!

Most policies in India are anyways taken not for their benefits but for hoodwinking that grand old bete-noir of all of us: the inevitable tax-man! But sadly, this policy will not be of much help here even because it doesn t make too intelligent a sense for availing tax benefits u/s 80 D (limit of Rs.15000 from this year). In layman terms, it would be like spending ten rupees to save two or maximum three rupees.

Whether seen as a medical help or as a tax saver, in both respects the policy is woefully short of its supposed benefits. At best, it s a good policy to complete the statutory 12 lives norms of IRDA (and here the benefit is of the agent and not yours) and it can no way compete with the traditionally available Mediclaim policies.

The company has creatively named it First Care, but frankly, would the policy really provide any care – first, second or otherwise – is a big question mark?!

[Disclaimer – The views expressed in the articles are that of the author and the blog owner or the blog may or may not fully or partially subscribe to it. The blog or the owner do not take any guarantee or responsibility for any facts, figures or findings provided in the article. This review is meant for academic purposes only and not meant to malign,downsize or hurt any product, organization or individual. The blog or the owner will not be responsible or liable for any reactions whatsoever Please read product brochures/website/information sources for more details about the product.It is strongly recommended to make your own decision regarding the product; the author, the blog or the owner will not be held responsible or liable for any loss – material, financial or any other!]

Powered by Zoundry

My experience with a diet program!

Plagiarism is not restricted to our films and music. It extends to our web world too. I found this diet program here, obesity only to later discover that it was a word-to-word lift from the famous General Motors (GM) diet program, sickness only that the beef was replaced by bean sprouts – and this, without any acknowledgement or byline! (There is a contention that this diet might not have anything to do with the car manufacture).

Anyways, let’s start from the beginning. One fine morning I got this cosmic enlightenment that I had to reduce weight, somehow, someway. As I searched options, all got crossed off: exercise, I read on the net – suddenly, the entire body formed a union and went off on strike, hassled and agitated. Reduce carbs – this time the taste buds protested vehemently, “you can’t leave that kachori, can you?” they screamed at the top of their lungs, while simultaneously coaxing the eyes to land on that sumptuous new Pizza Hut offer card. Err, umm, ok – not that. But somehow there has to be a beginning. Eat less – and the stomach groaned like an over-stuffed but always supposedly under-fed giant. Ok, OK, keep silent. Lemme think of something else.

The poor brain, like the poor management of public sector banks in India, was left pretty alone and deprived and tried to find a middle-solution. It’s then that this site came into the picture. It’s only for a week. And it allows you to stuff yourself. Plus, it mentions only a mild exercise. So, it should be ok. The body relented. Agreement reached. And General Motors (GM) diet begun! Be it GM diet or Santro diet or Volkswagen – what’s in a name anyways, as the Bard said!

Doing the diet all alone would make the week seem longer than a year. So I roped in a colleague who had also been grumbling about his increasing weight. See, I said in my best salesman tone, it’s so easy. Fruits and vegetables and soups – damn easy, no? Goodness knows if I was convincing him or my own self. But thankfully he caught on the bait, and we embarked on the diet last Wednesday. Before that, on Tuesday, we scoured Big Bazar to get ourselves weighed so we could measure the result of our grand mission. (I even thought of taking a snap, so that we could have the ‘before’ and ‘after’ kind of thing documented, but dropped the idea since the promised 4 kgs less would hardly be visible on my mass). I weighed a whopping… err, let’s leave the figure aside, no? At least the machine didn’t break – and he was at a modest 69 kgs.

The elaborate preparation for the diet began.

First day – fruits. That’s easy; two days back I had started on a ‘fruit-dinner’ routine, and had purchased quite a lot of them. And by ‘lot’ I really mean a lot – a glibly-talking vendor had managed to sell me 5 kgs of kharbuja, I had eyed the two gigantic carrybags stuffed with those pale yellow rounds nervously. But then I didn’t want the vendor to know I am a novice in fruit-buying – male ego and all that!

Great – the diet mentions to have cantaloupes (google dada helped me to learn that kharbuja is indeed cantaloupe) and melons. Lunch would be an issue, but then the advantage of staying in a small town where office is not far from home came into the fore!

I’ll not go into the details of the GM diet’s each day – but we did daily look wistfully at the chai-wallah or the lassi-wallah whenever he visited the office. The latter was considerably shocked when I refused the first day – come on, you can’t resist lassi, can you, his eyes bore into me! Yes I can, my watery eyes silently replied. The taste bud threw up its arm in dismay and anger and frustration!

As the days progressed we realized it wasn’t all that easy. Vegetables, for example. Now where are the veggies when you need them? No carrots, no mooli (radish) available in this season. Cooking is hardly an option. And zucchini is virtually NO option- at least for me! For lunch we made the day for a cucumber-seller.

For dinner, we towered over the woefully slow hot-plate and cooked peas. Just half a tea spoon of oil …no no, even less than that. My friend and co-dieter screwed his eyes and looked at the teeny weeny oil drop floating miserably in its existential loneliness on the non-stick frying pan. You think you can cook in that, he remarked incredulously. Urmm, yeah and frankly my convinction fried alongwith the onions as they wrinkled up disdainfully. Still, I feel we managed well and the peas turned out pretty tasty. And healthy, as I said taking a bite-ful. No oil, no fats.

Aah, bliss, I prided – a smirk on my face! Bull, came a small voice – my legs, who had tired of standing in front of the slow hot-plate, said. Shit, completed the sweat glands who had been on over-drive. In my smugness I didn’t hear the bowels clap their hands and tell both that that’s exactly what they’ll stop soon!

The fifth day was for sprouts (even though I had a doubt on that, since NDTV Health mentioned that in the GM diet one shouldn’t replace beef with sprouts in this diet). Obviously, I had to begin early. Off I went to the grocers to buy moong-dal. One night I placed half-kg moong (or mung) dal in a bowl of water and set it over the fridge (which doubles as a table). The next morning I was horrified to see the dal puffed up, and falling all over the fridge – I hadn’ t realized (read googled) that moong puffs up considerably in volume. Used this method to make the sprouts. Turned out pretty well.

In the meantime, health and health consciousness, weight and weight loss kept the google busy on my laptop. This and this and a few other sites only managed to confuse, and by the end of it I was tired, exhausted and hungry and craving for – you guessed it – piping hot samosas and kachoris with a warm cuppa tea!

This site (Caloriesperhour.com) even gave a calorie counter. See, it’s all simple. You can calculate how much you are eating. And then calculate how much you are losing. With a flourish I hopped to my colleague’s desk to show my latest discovery. Yep, all well. A parantha gives you 360 calories, and a plain ol’ chapatti gives you…ummm…errr..273 calories. Ok, a problem there. If the difference is so less, why not devour a parantha, no? said my colleague. And I buried the site for ever!

One evening I sweated out for forty five minutes for the soup to get ready – if the weight loss had to happen, it would be more due to losing water than anything else, I mused. Plus, the power supply was so erratic (and the building’s back-up generator so short of fuel) that I was left both craving and sleepless!

On sixth day, we were upto our neck with sprouts and paneer and tomatoes, and when I mean upto the neck, I literally mean that because thanks to the Genaral Motors (GM) diet, all that fibre didn’t really sing “yeh dosti hum nahin todenge” with my stubborn intenstines and they upped in a huff and went off on strike. Ok, we are not letting go anything buddy, they protested in a devilish glee. And I winced in constipation!

Sixth day evening we decided to measure the effect. If it had to happen, it would have happened by now. Even the diet program mentions so. Off again to Big Bazaar. The same place. The same weighing scale. The lady there eyed us curiously.

It was the moment of truth. My heart beat fast. My excitement tingled on my skin. The eyes glowed in anticipation. I took off the shoes. And stepped first on the scale. Check it, I told the guy hovering around. He quoted the figure.

That?!

Check it again. Check the scale. Check your eyes (ok, I didn’t say that but I meant to) It can’t be! Only two kgs less. No way!

Now it was my friend’s turn. His heart beat fast. His excitement tingled on his skin. His eyes glowed in anticipaton. He took off his shoes. And he stepped on the scale. Check it, he told the guy.

70 kgs!

One kilo more than from what he started off!

We left the place, climbed the escalators and gorged on a burger and a sandwich and finished it off with a can of Amul Cool Kafe.

GM Diet, rest in peace! Amen!

Technorati : GM Diet, calories, diet, health, nutrition, weight loss
Del.icio.us : GM Diet, diet, health, nutrition, weight loss

Powered by Zoundry

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 12th, 2007 at 8:30 am and is filed under General, Humor, Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.